we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
