i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
