I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
