I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
