just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
