my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he fucked my hip out of place.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
