TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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