he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
