i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize