Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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