When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
