Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
