5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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