her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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