Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
