Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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