I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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