i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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