Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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