dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
there is puke in my bra ... again
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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