But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
