My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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