you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
