where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
