Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
