Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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