hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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