Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
this beer tastes like vomit already
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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