I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
