Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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