After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
