how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
