At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
