who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize