he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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