first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
