This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
