i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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