I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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