Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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