Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
