Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
