Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize