I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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