Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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