This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
