Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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