He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
