So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i dont even know how to be here
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize