just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
