I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I bet he comes in French.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You were trust falling into bushes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
