you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize