I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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