a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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