Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i think my cat just said my name.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
