Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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