This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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