I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
