$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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