I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hippo gnu deer
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
