She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
