All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
