Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
