My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Are we still banned from the library?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
