so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
