So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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