I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
