"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just cropdusted the office
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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