Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
