So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
