Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Randomize
