She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize