i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
