He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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