Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
