i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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