Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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