its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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