shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
