Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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