You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so let's talk penis.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
