he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
