So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
