Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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