I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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