Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
