ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
